Listen up, here's another for lesson Celebritology 101's growing syllabus: Do not look to the stars for advice or guidance on politics, diet, exercise, money management, driving or realistic aging.
Mariah Carey before embarking on her purple foods regimen. (Getty Images)Although some undoubtedly live sensible, exemplary lives (the ones you don't hear much about outside of press junkets), you can never be sure when a seemingly level-headed personality will detour into the land of the absurd. Absurdity can take the form of sitting in a tree for extended periods of time, penning self-help books, acting as one's own stylist and, as you'll read below, dispensing illogical dietary advice.
Mariah Carey, long considered a wit of some reknown acclaimed the world over for her demure outfits and scholarly bearing, has shaken my faith in her "smarts" by declaring that henceforth she will only eat purple food. No, I'm not kidding. The recently re-invigorated diva says that foods like red grapes, beets and plums will prevent her from developing wrinkles.
While my first inclination is to dismiss her bizarro food-color logic immediately, I thought I'd seek the opinion of people who actually have degrees and years of experience backing up their nutrition advice (instead of hair extensions and carefully PhotoShopped images).
Artist's conception of potential side effects to Mariah after a few months of eating all purple foods. (Photo courtesy denisenickerson.com)Fellow post.com food blogger and trained cook Kim O'Donnel says, "While it's true that blue and purple foods contain powerful antioxidants in the pigments of their skins, Miz Mariah should also know that all or nothing approach is a losing proposition."
O'Donnel advocates moderation in eating as in all things and suggests Carey get a copy of the "12 Best Foods Cookbook" by Dana Jacobi, which includes blueberries in a veritable rainbow of "superfoods" (black beans, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, salmon, spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, chocolate, walnuts, soy and onions are the others).
Nutritionist Jennifer of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (which advocates a plant-based diet) agrees: "A single-colored diet is a limited one and I would encourage her to eat from the whole rainbow of food, and I'm not talking about Skittles." Reilly says a plant-based diet would provide Carey with a satiating and nutritious way to meet her goals.
1. Who dispenses the best diet advice?
a. Nutrition experts
b. Mariah Carey
c. The vending machine in the hall.
2. What kind of "bow" do two out of two nutrition experts say my food should resemble?
a. A crossbow
b. A rainbow
Extra Credit: First person to convince Carey that green, leafy vegetables are a powerful de-skankifier wins my undying gratitude.
The 2nd annual Sludgey Awards somehow made a return to both honor & entertain. Charlie emcee'd this stirring event held in Georgetown on Sunday December 10, 2006. In the end, everyone left with a belly full, & an award they (probably) never could have dreamed of.
Patti: Most Sunny (& Funny) Award
Gayle Most Improved Award
Bucci Sweetest Sludge Award
Andrew Best Defensive Play Award
Mike Best Dad Award
Chris Spirit of the Game Award (on field; male)
David Most Entertaining Point/Moment (off the field)
Michael Above & Beyond Award
C.H. Best Captain Award
Matthew Best Offensive Play Award
Russ Best Type A Award
Rob Best Food Offering Award
Christy Best New Supplier of Sludge Generation II
Kelly Spirit of the Game Award (on field; female)
Joe Best Fashion Award (on field; male)
Sue Bestest Story Award (Fiction)
Nigel World Peace Award
Brian Best Nomenclature Award
Jen Spirit of the Game Award (off field)
M.J. Best Literary Contribution Award
Best/Most Offensive Play (Group) Sludge’s golfers briefly ditching the OBX frisbee vacation.
Best/Most Defensive Play on Defense (Group) Sludge’s Zone Defense
Best Sludge Addition Award Daniel Paz Fisher Lopez
Biggest Best Brown Movement Award Sludge on-field, on sand, off-field, online, O.B., OBX…together. ##
We are the lemmings, swarming off a precipice into highway purgatory five days a week. An occasional Page Three feature on the daily commute. You're sitting in traffic, going four miles an hour. Gas-brake-gas-brake -- your head aches. Wondering how far the line of traffic stretches beyond the hulking SUV that blocks your view. Not really wanting to know, just the same.
And Joe McDonald comes whizzing by in the other direction. He's testing the speed limit; you're testing the brakes. You're cursing the creep who cut you off; he's learning all about the plight of the tsetse fly from NPR.
This is the guy you love to hate. He commutes from the city to the suburbs. Why didn't you think of that?
For him, there's no traffic. There's no stress. There's no counting the dollars of gas (remember when it was pennies?) burn up in a 10-mile jam. There's no being late for work.
McDonald says things that no normal, gridlock-fearing American would say. Like this: "I'm very happy every day. I'm able to move pretty freely."
Well, la-di-da for you.
McDonald works in Rockville. His commute begins in Cleveland Park and goes west on Massachusetts Avenue. As he set out on a recent weekday morning, a long line of cars headed the other way was backed up.
"I'm very thankful I'm not in that line," McDonald remarked. "I feel bad for them all."
The smugness! McDonald coasted into Maryland and hooked up with River Road, the Capital Beltway and Interstate 270 without a hitch. On his side of the road, there were hardly any cars.
Meanwhile, miles of cars were crawling toward the city or Tysons Corner. McDonald passes 23 stoplights on his 17-mile ride, and today they all seemed to turn green just in time for our hero to pass through. But, really, is it as bad as it looks when you're going in the other direction?
Only one way to find out.At 8:22 a.m. a couple days later, I left his office in Rockville and headed to his house in the city, just as he set out from his home for his office. It took me about three minutes to turn onto I-270, where, as it happened, there was no delay!
On WTOP's traffic report, Lisa Baden sounded more than a bit surprised about this odd turn of events. Every time the clock hit 8, she'd say 270 is clear from Germantown to the Beltway, as if she couldn't quite believe it. Take that, McDonald!
I cruised down the highway and exited the Beltway in 15 minutes. I called McDonald. He was just getting onto the Beltway. We were tied! I could taste the sweet nectar of prevailing-traffic-flow victory.
Then I hit the traffic. Like a slap. Where did all these cars come from? How did they get in front of me?
He called 13 minutes later. He'd made it to his office in a snappy 28 minutes. "Enjoy the rest of your ride," he said cheerfully.
I got to his home 15 minutes after he got to his office. And this was an exceptionally good day.So maybe we shouldn't despise McDonald. Maybe he's just smarter than the rest of us.
By DAVID KAYE, K. RUSSELL LAMOTTE and PETER HOEY Published: December 15, 2006
WHAT can the incoming Democratic Congress do to help reverse the steep erosion of America’s standing abroad, particularly the impression that the United States has disengaged from global problem-solving? Though the President dominates foreign policy, the Senate can make an impact in one significant area: by giving the required two-thirds majority vote to approve a raft of treaties awaiting action.
The Senate has before it more than two dozen treaties submitted for approval by President Bush and his predecessors — some, in fact, were negotiated as long ago as the Eisenhower administration. These agreements are not like the Kyoto Protocol on climate change or the statute that established the International Criminal Court, which are too controversial even to be transmitted to the Senate.
Indeed, these are widely supported pacts, making it difficult to discern why many stalled in the first place: perhaps it’s as simple as a senator’s vague concerns about “sovereignty,” a lack of domestic constituency or the press of other legislative business.
Early approval of key agreements in areas of great international concern, like the environment and the laws of war, would show the world that the United States is committed to solving global problems. To hit the point home, the Senate should act within the first six months of the next Congress. Quick approval for most is eminently doable.
There is a pressing need to repair America’s image now, even while the Democratic Congress and the White House battle over the future of Iraq policy. Approving treaties from this list would make a good start.
David Kaye and K. Russell LaMotte were treaty negotiators for the State Department in the Clinton and George W. Bush administrations. Peter Hoey is an illustrator in Arcata, Calif.
Matthew recollects...While "Offense, Raise Your Hands" was a very clever name, there were a few of us who thought that it might be confusing, especially when we were on defense.
So at our first game (Fall 1998), Rob and I were intent on coming up with a new name. Throughout the game, each of us would toss out a suggestion and then begin shouting it from the sideline, both in an effort to rally the troops and to see if any of the monikers would stick. I can't remember what any of the attempted names were, but there were many.
At some point, just as our opponents were mounting a comeback, I called out,"Come on, we're moving like a bunch of slugs!"
Rob apparently heard "bunch of sludge" and said, "Ooh, that's a good one." He then began shouting,"Let's go, Sludge!" and the rest, as they say, is history.
Incidentally, as clique league commissioner, I tried to spiff it up a bit, making it "Industrial Sludge" on the league roster, but the adjective was quickly dropped. Also, once Rob supplied us with our trademark brown shirts, there were a few attempts to come up with a new (better?) brown-themed name. The only one of these I remember, though, was Mocha Latte (which I still think was a pretty good suggestion).