Dr's Advice

Some would say that Sludge has come to a crossroads; an intersection of sorts. Who to turn to...WaPo's Dr. Gridlock??

Dear Dr. Gridlock:
My Ultimate frisbee team has fallen on tough times; it's hard to tell what the problem is, and I guess it may not be a problem at all--it's just the nature of things. The trouble is our opponents have been scoring 15 points before we do. What would you recommend?
Signed, Concerned*

Dear Concerned:
Dr. Gridlock is a traffic column. If you're not sitting in traffic, burning fossil fuel, polluting the environment, enriching the coffers of Big Oil while munching on fast food and yammering on your cell phone, then you don't have anything to complain about.
Signed, Dr. Gridlock

Dear Dr. Gridlock:
I'm sorry--I guess I'm not being clear. You see, we're trying really hard--I mean, I think we are; well, maybe we're all trying hard but at different times, and we're not sync-ing up or something...Our D-fense rocks, sometimes our throws are accurate, and sometimes our players make good catches. But these three things aren't happening enough. Please help.
Signed, Concerned

Concerned:
As I mentioned before, Dr. Gridlock addresses traffic issues. Unless your team is experiencing problems directly related to traffic, then please don't waste any more space in my column.
Signed, Dr. Gridlock

Dear Dr. Gridlock,
You know, you're right, maybe we're clogging the lanes with our cuts...maybe the passes aren't being thrown to clear passing lanes...but what else could we do to improve? You've been really helpful so far and I really value your insight. Please help.
Signed, Concerned

Concerned:
Maybe the problem dogging your team is it's stocked with morons like you. This is a traffic column--vehicular traffic, not liberal, hippified, pot-smoking frisbee traffic. Although it's not generally my practice, I'd venture to guess you guys are just old. Learn to manage your expectations.
Signed, Dr. Gridlock
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*"Concerned" wishes to remain Anonymjous